Beneficence does not always follow beneficent intentions. The difference to me between a subpar human and an exceptional one is that the later will not consider the decisions of another as a factor in their self-image, they are not so insecure. Their advice to you will not be on the terms that serve them. 

Below is an excerpt from a passage I read today.

“It is true that selfish people can be very attached to one or another person—e.g., a spouse or friend. But it seems that such a friendship could not be a friendship of the most morally excellent kind. The attachment or friendship would be too grounded in self-centered considerations. Thus, a selfish man could be very attached to his wife, dote on her, and in some ways do a lot for her. But this would not mean that he really cared for her, for her own sake. His behavior would be compatible with his caring for her, so to speak, for her willingness to serve him, to be at his command, to flatter his ego. His giving could be a minor concession for her serving him or even a further expression or assertion of his power over her and of her dependence on him. If he were truly selfish, then something like this would be the most likely explanation of his “beneficent” behavior. “

L.A. Blum, Friendship, Altruism, and Morality. ©1980 by Routledge & Kegan Paul.

Peace and Blessings,

Karima O.