As the year reaches la fin, I am satisfied with how I’ve grown. Notably, there are two points that I have consistently reflected upon throughout 2019 in efforts to enhance my candor and presence.
- “A bad day for the ego is a good day for the soul”
- “Don’t greet people with your head but rather with your heart”
Understand that not everyone in your life will recognize your sincerity, some people are deluded by chronic skepticism and that is their prerogative. Don’t live to convince others of your goodness, if they can’t recognize it, they can miss out. It is not your responsibility to prove anything about yourself to anyone. Just be.
In entering the new year, I want to work on solidifying my values such that I do not waver across my social circles. Overall, I’m consistently kind and respectful, but I’ve identified an area for growth.
It is embedded in most of us to please others to a certain extent. Such allows us to be more agreeable and socially accepted. In many cases, it is to our benefit, as the full truth can offend. For example, telling your colleague you like the color of their blouse is a safe part of the truth, and it’s perhaps best not to share that they should avoid wearing that material given the size of their sweat stains — you could if you were closer, but this is just your colleague and your upbringing has taught you discretion (i hope).
Anyhow, when sensitive topics arise in conversation…I don’t know, say of religion, politics, or anything personal, the answers I deliver depend on who I am speaking with. Are they liberal or conservative? Are they civil or offputting in their aggression? These factors influence how comfortable I feel in my expression… I don’t quite like this.
In the new year, I am going to minimize the influence others have on the discourse of my expression. To do this, I will revisit all of my values and debate them with myself. I want to engage in the practice of formulating the opposition to some of my opinions, not so that I can script a rebuttal, but rather that I may find knowledge gaps. I know some may argue that my approach is prone to confirmation bias, but it isn’t. I am not strictly seeking evidence to support my values, rather if I do reason to actually believe in something, that must not be the end, but rather an invitation to explore what I proclaim a stance on.
The productive conversation necessitates knowledge of what is being discussed. I’m a very emotional being and thus have PLENTY of emotional dialogues. This is primarily why I fall short. I’m all for the pathos, but ethos and logos need some attention too. In 2020, I want more conversations infused with evidence.
Peace & Blessings,